Elvira

ELVIRA SUPERBLEEP*!!

A poetic Tribute to my Temperamental and

Much Loved British Sports Car -- a rare Elva Courier

(More Elvira Photos are pending)

***********************************

It was love at first sight,

Elvira Super(bleep*).

There you stood, in that used car lot,

Upsweeping your rakish blue fins

At me,

And smiling

your huge Vredestein smile

Through modified wheel wells.

I was smitten.

How could you NOT

be mine!!?

How many times had I seen

an Elva, before?

1962 -- a red one, leaning

Against a building in a used car lot

Looking warily at me

through split windscreen,

Sun shining on grey plastic bumpers.

Then YOU - Elvira - camoflaged

in Castrol Racing Green and little

tyres

on white mini-wheels.

Or who could forget

that midnight blue beauty

seductively parked on a dark street.

But they were all fanasies in the wind,

Only you existed now --

Newly painted and lovingly cared

for

We had waited a long time

for each other.

SUPER(BEEP!)

Only YOU would get me

Two tickets in three weeks

Or stop dead on a cold rainy

February.

I walked a mile

in my cutoffs

for you that night.

Even when your fuses

popped out of the fusebox,

So that I had to use matchsticks

to wedge them back tightly--

I didn't mind.

Because

when I drive you

down a twisty country lane

In a snowstorm,

And I hear your engine roar,

your tyres sing

wipers flap,

and I brush the snow

off your tachometer

--Or--

when a veteran MG

tips its horn

at us,

And Jaguars

smile through British teeth

as we hum along

fragrant roads

at 105 **

I know

all those years

you had been waiting

for me.

It was

love

at first sight,

Elvira Superbeep.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

* - kindly substitute the appropriate word for this. You know it. I can't print it here.

** - That's MPH -- NOT KPH. Kids -- don't do this. End of disclaimer.

It was love at first sight,

Elvira Super.Bleep

There you stood, an Elva Courier,

in that used car lot

Upsweeping your rakish blue fins

And smiling a British Smile

At me

Through modified Wheel Wells

*(Note to all: Yes, hot rods can be British cars, too)

How many times

Had I seen an Elva before?

The first one -

Red and rakish,

Wearing skinny little tyres

On skinny white wheels,

And staring warily at me

Through split-windscreen:

A 1959 model, grey plastic bumpers.

And who can forget

That midnight blue beauty,

Black ragtop, fancy wheels,

Seductively parked under a street lamp

On a foggy night,

Then You, Elvira - Born in 1960,

Fiberglass body

Painted "1970 U.S. Ford Blue",

Oversize Vredestein Race tires

Jutting from modified (gaping) wheel wells,

huge rear fins.

Ragtop, roll bar, birdcage frame,

Independent suspension,

Koni Shox all around!

Blueprinted, balanced

MGA/MGB/Triumph engine

Jahns pistons, side draft SU carbs with

persnickety dashpots.

"Muffler" (more like a Cherry Bomb)

to wake the dead

(and the neighborhood).

And four-speed crash box. Wheeeee!!!

We were made for each other, Elvira SuperBeep!

SuperBleep!!

Only YOU would stop dead

On a cold wintry night!

In the middle of NOWHERE!!

For what?

Because of a gaping hole in front of your

Battery -- your electrics got drownded!!

I walked a mile in the snow for you.

You started instantly, when I returned

empty-handed and TTT (totally Ticked Off).

For that, I was grateful.

I stuffed a kitchen towel

In front of the hole

Until I got some Bondo.

But how could I stay mad at you??!

For when we drive

Down twisty country roads,

In a snowstorm,

And your

Wipers Flap,

Tyres sing,

And I happily brush the snow off your tach

(leaky top),

Or when we drive through shimmering, summery dusty roads,

And Jaguars tip their horns at us

and grin

Through chrome teeth.

The epitome of cool, very vroomish indeed.

Even when

half of your fuses popped out of their fuse holder,

(haha - there were only TWO fuses total!)

and I had to wedge it back using a matchstick

so we could get home,

We made it.

You limped along at times, but

I'd pat your door and sing

To keep your spirits up.

Our relationship?

Blood and guts, steel and rubber,

And four-speed crash-box - Wheeee!

I knew all along,

That we WERE made for each other.

It was

Love at first sight,

Elvira SuperBeep.

So just what is an Elva Courier?

She's highly modified, with altered track, wheel wells, engine (MGA/MGB/Triumph clone), and thick metal bumpers painted flat black. But those huge fins are stock!!! They were 4 inches thick (fiberglass) in some spots. This car was designed and hand-made in the late 50's. Whatever was on hand in the factory was slapped on, put in, installed. The 2nd owner (there have been four, so far) of Elvira did some extensive modification on her. When I bought her, I had the responsibility of keeping everything together. And when you have Vauxhall brakes with Simca parts (you thought swapping a Jag rear end was tough??!), it was a challenge not to be missed!

Even in stock trim Elva Couriers were fast, low slung and did well on the race course. There are still some being raced today. I never put Elvira through her paces on the race course. But the streets, ah, the streets. Every Road Runner and its uncle thought they could pass us. Elvira and I would jazz down the street in 3rd, and as we passed our challenger of the moment, I'd pop her into 4th, and wave goodbye. Lively conversations always ensued when the other car caught up to us at the next stoplight. Those were the days before Road Rage.

So where is the love of my life today? Somewhere on the West Coast. I had to sell her, in order to afford college. I still miss Elvira and the wonderful roar we'd make, barreling down the roads in the early dew of the mornings, when the speed limits were in the 70's and the roads were wide open, empty and endless. Maybe, just maybe, one day I'll find her again...

The next time you wake up early, stay in bed and listen down the road Elle Va -- she goes!

Vroom.....................

Ace